Saturday, December 5, 2015

‘Lil’ moments of meaningfulness

It took him plenty of courage in that already fearful state of mind, to cross over and go to the outer side of the rappelling wall. It is at this point that one is supposed to lean behind as an initial step to climbing down the wall. It is at this point that the fear reaches its peak. As one participant child told me, ‘It felt like I would fall down and the back of my head would hit the floor!’ Although all the safety harnesses are used, and the participants are aware of that, fear finds its way. This boy, around eleven years old, already seemed too scared – most participants are, children and adults alike, when they climb those stairs which feel like they are floating in the air, with no walls around them. This, coupled with the widely prevalent fear of heights, makes the activity even more challenging for many, especially the first timers!

The moment he got himself to the outer side of the wall, he almost freezed there.  The technical expert tried encouraging him to lean back and start rappelling down, but in vain. Just when I started telling the technical expert to get the boy back inside, I saw tears in his eyes. We got him inside. I told him to sit, breathe and relax; offered him some water. It seemed liked he wanted to be alone for some time. So I started attending to the other participants, while constantly aware of the boy and how he was feeling. After sometime, I sat beside him, and we began conversing.

We were looking at other participants doing the activity while we were talking. Almost everyone had that look of ‘I’m scared but I would like to be able to do it!’ on their face. I made him aware of how the initial part of leaning behind was scary for all of them, after which it got easier. He expressed his concerns and I explained to him how the safety gear that we use keeps us in total control and keeps them completely safe. Not once in the conversation did I ask him, ‘Would you like to try again?’ That didn’t feel right to ask at that moment. In fact, I told him that I’ll take him safely down the stairs if he wishes to do so. I reminded him that we had already decided earlier as a group that we would be following the principle of ‘Challenge by choice’* and no one would force him to complete the activity. I was quite surprised by the way I was dealing with the situation. It almost felt to me like I was being his ‘mum’ at that time, who was trying to make him feel safe and was trying to do the right thing for him at that moment.
A few minutes passed by while the other participants continued doing the activity. And then came that moment of magic! He told me that he wanted to do the activity, this time, with a lot more confidence in his voice. He got up. We helped him put on the safety harness. He crossed over to the outer side of the wall. No wonder he was scared! But this time, he did not freeze. With some encouragement from our side, he leaned behind and went down rappelling on the wall. I saw him from above when he reached the floor. With both his hands up in the air, he felt and expressed a strong sense of victory!

A few minutes later, almost the same story got replayed, with another participant. Only this time, when he finally reached the floor rappelling down the wall, he happened to say, ‘Hey, this was easy!’ - wondering, why was he so scared at all in the first place. While this was happening, one of the participants, who had mustard enough courage to climb those stairs after some initial hesitation, was standing there on the top for quite some time, looking at other participants doing the activity. She was the only one remaining.  I asked her, ‘Would you like to try?’ She said yes. And during that crucial moment when she had to lean back, she got highly scared and changed her mind. I told the technical expert to get her back inside. She almost rushed to go back down the stairs. I told her to wait, breathe and I accompanied her down the stairs. I tried telling her things like ‘It was quite brave of you to climb up those stairs and attempt the activity’. But I knew that nothing I would say would make her feel completely fine about the fact that she didn’t go ahead with it, while most others were able to do so. A few moments ago, when she was up there, on the outer side of the wall, I had a choice. I could force her down the wall (while ensuring her safety) and hope that it would help her overcome her fear and feel good about herself. But that would bring with it the risk of it becoming an experience that she would thereon associate with a state of ‘panic’, and may be, never ever attempt it at all. And this would not only defeat the entire purpose of the activity, but could also cause damage to her overall self-confidence.

The activity was over. I walked away from the wall with a lot of thoughts in my mind, but with an overall positive feeling in me, a feeling for which I haven't yet found the exact word. A feeling that I would like to further explore in the years ahead. A feeling that may be the prime reason behind my current desire to be a part of more such experiences as a facilitator. A feeling that comes back to me every time I think of those moments - those ‘Lil’ moments of meaningfulness in which the power of ‘Challenge by choice’ came alive!

Nikhill (raahi)
* This experience was a part of the three-day camp for a school organized by ‘Kshitij – Redefining Fun’. At Kshitij, we try and add value to the lives of participants by using a methodology called ‘Experiential Education’. One of the key principles we follow is ‘Challenge by Choice’, wherein the participants themselves choose the way they want to participate in a particular activity and the level of challenge they would like to attempt. It has been observed that learning that happens in this way is more effective and ownable than in a situation where the participants are reluctantly made to do an activity on someone else’s terms.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

In the laps of Himalayas…


Almost a fortnight long camp was the highlight of this summer. As anxious as we were about the outcomes of the camp to Shama RamGanga, Uttarakhand with a group of 29 kids along with Maitri group (Borivali, Mumbai) ranging from 10-18 years, the success of it was well proven by the happy faces of all the participants throughout the journey. The journey in itself began with 36 long hours to reach the first destination: Corbett! Having retired in the cottages at night, the next morning started with a trek and bus journey to next venue: Ranikhet!

Aww gaped from every child’s mouth seeing the beautiful cottage of Ranikhet which were to be their quarters for next day. Refreshing juice of the Buraans (Rhododendron) flower quenched their thirsts every time they were tired! Local plantations, first long trek for 5kms, visit to the village temple and games at night kept the kids active all the while. And then began a bus ride to the next destination: Shama, a heavenly abode for the city-ites! The scenic beauty of the region was extremely pleasant with a lot of butterflies in the stomachs due to the ghats, but nevertheless, playing antakshari for 6hrs kept boredom away! 
Finally the baggage was dumped into a ramshackle garage, carrying stuff that would last for 3 days, the kids began climbing higher towards the Gyandhura Village located at a height of 8200 feet above the sea level! It was during this climb that they realized how vital the air is for sustaining! Tiny tracks lined by scary valleys at the edge were a marvelous sight. With all their might the kids trekked to their cottages… the pride of Shama! Once in the dining area, all the tiredness was washed off merely by looking the giant of Himalayas surrounding us. Seeing Nandadevi, Nandaghat, Trishul immediately brought geography textbooks in front of the eyes! No words would be enough to actually describe their might and beauty!

Shama stay was packed with never-done-before activities like Hay stack building, Earn-ur-meal, Egg Hunt, Present the location, entertain the locals and of course the campfire each night before the day ended! 29 aspiring enthusiasts with their heads high trekked for 15kms in the jungles of Shama without a single hurdle to stop their steps. The kids were amazingly supportive for each other and extremely careful! Guess it’s natural for all of us to get tamed in the demands of nature!

But as the itinerary would have its way, we had to move towards Nacchni for couple of days to enjoy water adventures! Resembling a base camp in every sense, passing through a metal bridge, staying in tents, the cold waters of the RamGanga river gushing by the side, swimming and body surfing in the mighty river and an inviting net in place for beach volley ball… what else would the kids have asked for??? The only lights at night were that of the moon and stars and that is when a kid came up to say “We waste so much of electricity each day”!! Nacchni was power-packed with the group divided in three teams for Mountain Bicycling, Kayaking and Slithering. The kids wouldn’t come out those cool waters inspite of such a strong current! None of them complained of their sim cards and earphones been taken away for almost a week now! Happy realization dawned: Life without screens is possible!!

The last of our destinations was Mukteshwar who welcomed us with chilly winds due to rains! The campsite couldn’t have been better than what we had. Apple plantations all around, with lovely flowers planted all along the tracks, the colors of nature surprising everyone with each step towards the massive tents well protected from the cold! Next day the kids did rappelling, rock climbing and flying fox. The adrenaline rush was felt right from the youngest to the eldest member in the group! Overcoming all their fears, may be for height, water or fall, the kids made sure that all their friends participate in each activity, boosting the ones who were hesitant! The sportsmanship spirit was indeed remarkable!


The camp came to an end but the journey continued… On the way to Kathgodam station, dinner was arranged at an South-Indian restaurant and to every one’s surprise the tiniest one in the group commented “We are eating with the lights and AC’s on after ages, it seems so out of the box after all these treats in Nature” . That is when Kshitij smiled, having served its purpose. 

Having a life full of amenities and hundreds of options even for basic necessities is freakingly awesome, but sticking to basics of simplicity is where all the fun lies in. The respect for resources, the willingness to preserve them and their proper utilization is all that nature would like in return for his extravagant gift to humans – Life!!

Thus the journey continues…from being in the laps of Himalayas… to the countless memories running in our minds, waiting eagerly for some more sun’s to shine…


Dr. Charmy Gada
drcharmigada@gmail.com

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A walk in the rain…


Finally the clouds have blessed the city, pouring down their showers on us. The cool breeze, freshness in the air, the sweet wet fragrance of the soil, children playing in the water filled potholes, paper boats, roasted corn and a cup of hot tea! What else can describe the season better???

Just the feel of it makes you want to go out in the wilderness, more close to nature, listen to those raindrops crackling on the dried leaves and see the forests changing color to a brighter shade of green! It indeed has a calming effect on your entire being. All the daily hassles are forgotten and replaced by a serene calmness. Does it really matter what age you are to be one with nature??? Guess, it doesn’t! Probably that is why when in woods, adults seem to become kids and kids seem to understand the philosophy of life! Such an irony and yet so true!! 

At times we have no clue what nature has in store for us! We are blessed to see such bright, lively colors on flowers, insects, even the grasses!! Bond over again with your friends and family over a walk in the rain rather than a cup of coffee in a cafĂ© and notice the difference it makes! Take that chance and walk! Talk to yourself, talk to each other, talk to nature!! You don’t need a holiday to plan this, a couple of hours on a random Sunday will be enough!! Kshitij is all set to take this walk in the rain! Are you???

Dr. Charmy Gada
drcharmigada@gmail.com

Thursday, May 9, 2013

It’s all about STORIES



Once upon a time, I was having lot of time to play, to dance, to cry, to scream, to sing randomly and with no reason. I heard stories while eating, while sleeping, while pursuing my education, people were taking me to show all new things and I was getting amazed, I do not remember every pulse of that time but I remember many stories. 

The dynamism of story is how it travels from one culture to another, from generation to generation with many different versions and still immortally alive. Myth, mythology, epics, ghost stories, fairy tales, funny, foolish or wisdom stories, in India it was an oral tradition. The prime reason of immortality is human involvement. It hasn’t stopped yet in today’s time. Do you know why companies spend lots of money on user manuals and make separate packaging for it with gazettes? Because, they know, that even the user knows the device still it might require ones’s crucial time to understand the particular function of device. Story works exactly like that, it requires one’s crucial time to understand situation in a better way, and a situation which occurs in all kinds of relations, personal, social, cultural and official agenda. Stories mirror human thought as humans think in narrative structures and most often remember facts in story form. Facts can be understood as smaller versions of a larger story thus storytelling can supplement analytical thinking.

It has been noticed and experienced that stories help to understand kid’s behavior, to introduce required the system in particular department in business, to realize environmental as well as esthetical issues, and the most importantly which we all liked in our grandmother stories, that is fun and sound sleep. It works in metaphorical way. Stories: we all love to listen and we get many simple solutions for complex matters.

If you are feeling storious and you need more info.
Paresh Gosar 

 

Saturday, April 20, 2013


‘Should I Be Sending My Children to Camp?’



While the campers are messing about in the woods, many of their peers will be attending summer school or specialized skills programs. Their responsible, if sometimes Tiger-ish, moms and dads will be investing their money in their children's future differently, sending them to one week sport and hobby classes, Entrance exam prep courses and unpaid internships designed to polish skills, boost scores and impress college admissions personnel. Instead of spending three weeks at an all-around camp, these children will be focused on skill-building, sometimes in three different specialized programs to which their parents drive them every day (allowing time for that all-important debrief in the car going home).

Which set of parents has it right? Or more to the point: Does an overnight camp experience still make sense in this competitive, resume-building world? From an analysts, point of view, the answer is a resounding YES. I believe that children develop in profound ways when they leave their parents' house and join a camp community.
Learning to sleep away from home is, of course, a critical step on the way to independence. Part of the challenge is beating homesickness, which may be hard for some children, and which, by definition, your parents cannot help you do. Kids know they have to do this sooner or later. As a friend’s son once remarked with horror, "If you can't learn to sleep away from home, you have to live with your parents for the rest of your life." But beyond that, there are things that, as a parent, you cannot do for your children, as much as you might wish to. You cannot make them happy (if you try too hard they become whiners); you cannot give them self-esteem and confidence (those come from their own accomplishments); you cannot pick friends for them and micro-manage their social lives, and finally you cannot give them independence. The only way children can grow into independence is to have their parents open the door and let them walk out. That's what makes camp such a life-changing experience for children.

From the book, "Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow," I know that many young people do not really know how strong they are, how competent they are or even who they are until they get away from their parents and test themselves in a new and challenging environment. Many children told me the best thing about camp was, "I can really be myself here." What do they mean by that? I am pretty sure I know the answer. When children are away from their parents, they do not have to view their own life and achievements through the lens of my-athlete-father-standing-on-the-sidelines-watching-me or my-mother-is-worried-that- I'll fail. When a child is on his own, the experience is his alone, the satisfaction belongs only to him and he does not have to filter it through what his parents think and feel.

For the dedicated, loving and anxious parent, letting a child go can be tough. "Will she be happy at camp? Will he make friends? Will she be homesick?" But homesickness can often be confused with a parent's child-sickness  The director of a girls' camp in Mumbai tells me she has more and more parents of 9-year-olds calling to say, "Well, she's ready for camp, but I'm not ready to have her leave." If you want an independent child, you have to master your own child-sickness  Try remembering the sweetest moments from your own childhood. Most adults tell me that the sweetest, most memorable times of their childhood were when they were away from their parents, doing something with friends in the out-of-doors, taking a challenge or doing something a bit risky. That sounds like camp to me.

By the way, when college admissions officers were interviewed about how they view campers, they say that they think former campers are more likely to succeed in college because they have had successful experiences away from home, and they are always impressed by seniors who have been counselors looking after younger children. Camp helps build confidence and identity; it also builds leadership skills.


Dr. Charmi Gada

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Children need to move it to lose it

Children from the time they are born to age four, need to move more and lie around less. Increased screen time, use of restraint seating and strollers, lack of indoor space, limited access to outdoor space and bubble-wrap parenting have created an environment in which even the scrappiest toddlers are dangerously sedentary.

The concerns were raised by the Canadian Society for Exercise Physiology and Participaction, which on Tuesday released the first Canadian set of physical-activity guidelines for the early years, outlining just how much infants and toddlers need to move for optimum health and development.



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